The mindset shift that ends your fear of sales

Today’s Skill: Turning Rejection Into Data

Most founders aren’t afraid of sales.

They’re afraid of what sales might say about them.

Hearing “No” or getting ghosted can ding your armor.

You start to think… “Maybe I’m not cut out for this.” or “I’m never going to get comfortable”.

But, that’s just a story you’re telling yourself because you don’t understand the why behind the “no.”

And like most fears, rejection feels worse when it’s undefined.

So, let’s define it.

Story time…

I used to be terrified of flying. From the night before the flight until we landed, I was a mess. Every bump made me freeze. Every sound made me panic.

When you looked up the definition of “white-knuckling” my face was right there.

Until one day in 2013, I got curious.

→ How do planes actually work?

→ How are pilots trained?

→ How safe is it?

The more I learned, the less I feared.

Curiosity replaced panic. Knowledge replaced worry.

That’s when I realized something: I was never scared of flying.

I was scared of what I didn’t understand.

And once I understood it, I could accept it.

Sales rejection works the same way.

You’re not scared of a prospect saying no.

You’re scared of why they said no and what that might mean about you.

But once you start gaining knowledge, the fear loses its power.

How To Take Control Back

Rejection only hurts when it feels personal.

When you turn rejection into data, it becomes information that can be useful to inform how you respond.

So instead of avoiding it, study it.

Here’s how…

1. Separate Emotion From Evidence

When you get rejected, your brain immediately wants to make it emotional.

“They didn’t like me.”

“I blew the deal.”

“They probably went with someone better.”

Pause and take a large deep breath.

Ask yourself: What do I actually know versus what am I assuming?

That single question moves you from emotional reaction to reflection.

It’s no longer about you but about what happened.

→ Live in the facts, not in the story you’re making up.

2. Look for the Pattern

Rejection feels random until you collect enough data.

Start tracking every “no.”

Write down what type of buyer it was, what stage the deal was in, what was the deal size and the reason they might have given on why they didn’t go with you.

After five or ten, you’ll start to see a pattern:

• Maybe your prospects don’t see urgency.

• Maybe your pricing triggers hesitation.

• Maybe you’re pitching too soon.

Patterns are feedback loops.

→ And feedback loops build confidence because you finally know what to fix.

3. Shift From “Why Me?” to “Why Now?”

Instead of taking rejection as personal failure, reframe it as a timing issue.

Ask yourself:

• “Did I fully understand what they needed right now?”

• “Was this deal ever real, or was I chasing?”

• “Is this never going to happen or just not right now?”

• “Did I help them make progress, even if they didn’t buy?”

When you treat every conversation as data on timing instead of self-worth, rejection becomes neutral and incredibly useful.

→ Plus, you have a clear direction on where you might need to follow-up in the future.

4. Run a Mini-Postmortem

After a deal falls through, spend five minutes on this framework:

• Fact: What actually happened?

• Feeling: What emotion am I carrying from it?

• Fix: What’s one small improvement I can test next time?

The founders who grow fastest aren’t the ones who avoid rejection.

→ They’re the ones who reflect and improve incrementally every time.

Final Thoughts

You know the old saying, “Throw spaghetti at the wall and see what sticks.” Yeah, that’s not a good strategy to build predictable sales. We need to use data to look at the big picture and understand what is actually happening.

And when we do that, we can shine a light on the real problem. That’s where fear starts to lose control because we aren’t making emotional decisions. We are studying the data and making an informed decision on how to go forward.

The same way I overcame the fear of flying is the same way you’re going to stop fearing rejection.

Become curious.

Lean into finding the facts and data.

Use that knowledge to inform a new way of thinking.

Just because you fear rejection today, doesn’t mean it has to cripple you tomorrow.

Your Action Step

If I could summarize everything above it comes down to one word: reflection.

Reflection on what was said, what has happened and what you didn’t realize until it was too late.

Reflection is an “out-of-body” experience. We get to step out of our own way and just look at the situation from an objective point of view.

That’s what I’m hoping you do with this action step.

Take a deal you just lost and do a “postmortem”.

Analyze it and find the data.

Make some notes and track this.

You’ll be amazed at the patterns that open up.

And the newfound knowledge you have around why things are happening the way they are. You may not overcome the fear immediately but you’ll be on your way to thinking about it differently.